The one burden we've all been carrying...& 10 very important lessons we can learn from it

Last night I had a dream. I was counting pills at the pharmacy counter. At one time in my life this was a daily task for me, one that seemed as routine as brushing my teeth. In this dream I found myself transported to a time when things were simpler. I was in my 20’s again and working overtime in the local pharmacy. But one thing stood out in this dream that caused me to awaken with a jolt. It wasn’t something that happened, as much as it was a strong emotion that rocked me….
 
I suddenly noticed something unusual as I peered out at the faces of my customers. I could actually see their entire faces again. And all that looked back at me was a sea of smiling faces. There wasn’t a single mask in sight…and for the first time in a long while, I felt….relief.
 
I consider myself to be one of the luckier ones. Yes, I was a nurse in the middle of a pandemic. But I am a nurse who just happened to be working in a supervisory position when the pandemic erupted. This meant that I was able to work mostly from home. I’d be lying if I said the pandemic did not bring new stressors to my job. But I remained safe and my friends and family also remained safe. For this I am incredibly fortunate.
 
But despite this, things have not been easy. This dream awakened me to the reality of the burden that we have all been carrying. Granted, some people have been more deeply impacted than others and it’s true that we all deal with stress differently. But all of us want this pandemic to end already. And sometimes it takes the relief of a burden to fully realize just how much weight we’ve been carrying all along. 

“There is no education without adversity” –Benjamin Disraeli

With vaccines showing some real promise, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it’s still just barely a flicker right now. At the time of this writing, cases across our country have been decreasing. There is hope after all, for a return to “normalcy” (whatever that means anymore!).
 
But the question then becomes, what have we learned from this whole experience? I’m not sure about you but I never thought I’d live through a pandemic. In the beginning I felt utterly unprepared to deal with it and like most people, the anxiety was palpable. But now having experienced a pandemic firsthand, perhaps there are some lessons to reflect on, because adversity nurtures growth.
 
What I’ve learned:

• Lesson One: Life as we know it is far more fragile than I thought. This was a tough pill for me to swallow. Our lives can be turned upside down in a flash. But the silver lining is that realizing this truth has made me more grateful for the “normal” days. Life really is about the simple things that we typically overlook and take for granted. Savor the small things in life, no matter how seemingly small they may be in the moment.
  

 

• Lesson two: We can do everything right and still be caught off guard. So I realized that sometimes it’s enough to let go of shame and guilt and just be okay with trying our best. We can make all the best health decisions in the world and at the end of the day still succumb to illness and disease. So try to enjoy the ride too. All we can do is the best we can do. Don’t beat yourself up too much over choices you make because not everything in life is fully within our control.

 

• Lesson three: On the flip side of my last point, we still do have some control. We can always control how we see things. We can control our attitudes and our mindsets. We can shift our perspectives. Stress is more about how we perceive a stressor than what the actual stressor is. From stress, we can seek opportunities for growth.

 
We can also take control of our health, to some extent. We can control our lifestyle choices, which can minimize our risk for the worst outcomes. Even the slightest sense of control that we can muster can go a long way during times when the world around us seems to be spinning out of control.

• Lesson four:  We’ve learned that public health truly is a team effort. It’s not an individual game. We’re all just small pieces of a much bigger puzzle. The same rules apply to everyone and no one is exempt. Sacrifice and altruism are tall orders in societies that preach individualism. When you’re asked to wear a mask not so much to protect yourself but to protect others, a real mindset shift has to occur.

 
By definition, when a pandemic hits, the whole world is in it together. There’s no place for nationalism. Cooperation and the realization of interdependence are critical. In a globalized world, this means that each of us become bigger than just our family, our community, our state, or our country. An “us” vs. “them” attitude is not the slightest bit beneficial to anyone. Therefore the resolution for the pandemic needs to spread as globally as did the virus.

• Lesson five: We have nothing without our health. You can have all the wealth in the world but at the end of the day, a virus cares little about the contents of your pocketbook. Cherish your body and what it is capable of. Do whatever you can in your power to maintain your health. Yes, there were young, healthy people who succumbed to this virus too. But there were also clear identifiable risk factors for severe illness. There’s no time to wait because we don’t know when the next threat may be upon us. Minimize your risk factors. Start today.

• Lesson six: We as a species can do some pretty amazing things when we choose to come together. While the news may have you thinking otherwise sometimes, the truth is, there was a lot of good that also came out of this shared experience of adversity. People from all walks of life rose to the challenge. Selfless heroes emerged. Great minds came together to discover innovative solutions, some of which were carried out and implemented in record times. Communities came together, I saw this firsthand. Yes, in retrospect we could’ve done better in some regards but we also did a lot of things right.

 

• Lesson seven: We humans truly are a social species. We’ve heard this before but now we’ve really felt it. The point has been driven home. Our patience with having to distance ourselves from each other has worn thin. It’s against our nature, against every thread of our being to stay apart from each other.

 
We’ve seen that significant psychological effects can occur when we are forced to endure physical separation from other members of our own species. The importance of bonding and social connection has been made clear. We simply don’t do well when we are isolated. Our identities are validated by those around us. We thrive when we are together. Let’s not forget this one when this whole thing passes. It’s been made evident that we need each other.
 

• Lesson eight: We used to complain about having to go to work every day. We used to complain about sitting in traffic. We used to complain about our colleagues. But then these everyday annoyances suddenly stopped for some of us. People lost that critical transition time between work and family life (the commute!). Boundaries between work and life became blurred. They lost the rapport they had with their colleagues at the water cooler.

 
Things we used to complain about regularly during Sunday brunch suddenly didn’t seem so bad after all. Dare I say, some formerly annoying aspects of our previous “normal” lives might even have been missed. Again, it’s all about perspective. Appreciate what you have each day and try to see the good in the moment.
 

• Lesson nine: There’s nothing quite like the stress of a pandemic to test our abilities to cope. The pandemic reminded us of the importance of having effective coping skills. With fewer options available to us externally, we were forced to seek internal sources of entertainment, comfort and inspiration. Perhaps we even learned just how important it is to prioritize those pursuits that promote self-growth (like hobbies and creative endeavors).

 

• Lesson ten: “This too shall pass”. Neither pain nor pleasure last. Pandemics, like everything else, eventually come to an end, or at the very least, the novelty of it all wears off and we learn to adapt. Emotions and feelings are fleeting in nature, merely passing us by as we make our way through this crazy, often times beautiful world. It’s all part of the human experience and it’s a crucial, unavoidable one at that.

 
 
How long will we carry these lessons with us when this whole thing passes? Will we quickly forget the experience and put this chapter behind us? Will we eagerly embrace a return to “normal” and try to pretend that none of this ever happened? Or will we choose to allow these lessons to transform us?
 
Only time will tell, the extent of how much the pandemic has truly impacted each of us individually and of course, how it’s affected us collectively. Either way, one thing is fairly certain: we are resilient, adaptable beings and in the end we will prevail.
 
How about you? What has this pandemic taught you, about yourself and/or about life in general? While we may have all went through this together, we all faced some unique struggles along the way too. It’s from these differing perspectives that we can continue to grow, to learn from each other and to come back stronger in the end.