How to Stay Mentally Fit, Calm & Focused in our Hectic & Chaotic World

​They say that historically speaking, during the past couple decades, we’ve been living in unprecedented peaceful times. They say that many of us have had it too easy for too long. As if this is a bad thing, right? Yet there are still people out there who are bearing witness to unfathomable horrors every day. Most of us are fortunate enough to not have to contend with such daily horrors. But after grappling with a worldwide pandemic followed by escalating tensions both here at home and around the world, I would beg to differ that things are necessarily easy.
 
Nonetheless, the world keeps on spinning and daily life must go on. Somehow amongst all the madness, the chaos, the distractions and the uncertainties ahead, we are expected to keep trudging along; to keep chasing after our goals and to keep ticking off those checkboxes on our never-ending To-Do lists…
 
But exactly how do we proceed, and dare I say, succeed during this acutely disruptive, perpetual state of anxiety we find ourselves in? How can we even think about taking care for ourselves when so much is happening around us?
 
Take care of yourself you must. In fact, this is precisely the time when it becomes most critical to do so…
 
The Struggle is Real

One thing I’ve learned in middle age is that there is no dearth of problems in life. Life is relentless in this way. You are either just emerging from having dealt with a problem, are in the middle of dealing with a problem, or are unwittingly hurling a hundred miles an hour towards dealing with a new one. There seems to be no escaping this reality. And who really said that life on Earth must be easy anyway?  All living beings must suffer at one point or another. Nature can be cruel. It is not designed for the faint of heart. So why should we humans feel entitled to anything otherwise? 

Remain Grounded
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While it’s true that we earthly beings are destined to some degree of adversity and suffering throughout our lives, there is still hope. The very first step is to get your feet back on the ground. You can do this by accepting adversity as it comes. Stop trying to avoid problems, stop trying to run away from uncertainty. It’s okay that nothing is okay. Trying to escape is simply a losing battle. And, it’s kinda hard to be grounded when your feet are in flight mode!
 
So let’s stop running for a moment. Slow down. Take a deep breath. Accept that the world is and always has been a dynamic and ever changing place. This is what makes it quite unpredictable. But this is also what makes life interesting. Accept this universal truth and let’s start rolling with the punches, together.
 
To be more grounded, try practicing the following:
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• Learn to let go. Release and accept whatever is out of your control. By all means do what is within your power to make the world a better place. But beyond this, stop worrying about what you cannot control.

 

• Plan for better times. Start a project, perhaps a passion project. When conditions improve again (they always do), you can hit the ground running with all your progress.

 

• Change your perspective. Stress is all about how you perceive a situation. View a problem as the challenge that it is. And seize the opportunity to learn and to grow from it. Not if, but when you overcome it, you will come back stronger every time.

 

• Try not to seek constant reassurance from others. It simply isn’t helpful to continually ask others about a certain situation, hoping for a favorable outcome. This can actually backfire and cause you even more anxiety, as no amount of reassurance ever really seems to be enough to feed your anxious soul. Learn how to be your own source of reassurance.

 

• Be realistic. Expect the worst all while hoping for the best. Lower your expectations of what could be and tell yourself that whatever happens you will find your way. You will be okay.  

 

• Stop catastrophic thinking in its tracks. Ever find yourself thinking of a possible (yet highly unlikely) scenario, only to have it quickly avalanche into a cascade of nightmare scenarios? That’s catastrophic thinking and it is not healthy.

 

• Practice positive self-talk instead. The way you think affects the way you feel. Stress hormones trigger certain pathways in your body that serve as feedback loops. You tell yourself you are going to fail at something, your heart starts racing, your stomach starts aching and now you really know you are going to fail because your body is confirming it and you can feel imminent failure ahead. Stop the loop. Tell yourself things will work out. This too shall pass.

Stay Focused
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Part of being grounded is being able to stay focused on the present moment. Easier said than done, I know. But it is possible to stay focused on your goals despite the world around you doing its thing. There is always something that you can do, no matter how small, to make the world a better place.
 
Get out of your head for a bit and consider how you can contribute to a solution. Maybe this just means becoming better informed. Maybe it means donating to a worthy cause. Maybe it’s volunteering once a week. Whatever it is, having this sense of control will help you realize your power when other things around you seem to be spiraling out of control.
 
5 Tips to Help you Stay Focused
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• Limit your consumption of the news. Especially before bedtime. It’s no secret the media is always seeking good ratings. And the truth is, fear leads to ratings. But there is a fine balance between staying informed and constantly seeking reassurance externally, from a source that intentionally keeps you on the edge of your seat. This has you continually coming back for more. Realize what is happening here. Set limits and boundaries on your daily consumption of news. And then stick with these limits. 

 

• Put one foot in front of the other, literally. There is something cathartic about moving your body. When you are anxious about something, there is a surplus of pent up energy in your body. Burning some of it off helps you feel more balanced. Doing so also boosts circulation to your brain and releases feel-good chemicals. And it helps you find clarity when nothing else is making sense at the moment.

 

• Limit time spent on social media. Even during good times it can be damaging to be regularly comparing your life to others who are always intentionally trying to demonstrate that their lives are so much better than yours. Most people are only showing you one side of their lives, and not their uglier realities. Spend less time passively watching others live their lives. Get out and live yours instead.

 

• Live in the present moment as much as possible. The present is the only moment we have any semblance of control over. You can do this by practicing mindfulness often. Meditate. Whatever this looks like for you, the idea is to stop ruminating about events past. Stop worrying about what could happen in the future (things that probably won’t happen anyway). Live right now because it is all that you have and is all that is guaranteed.

 

• Make time for yourself. How can you improve yourself? How can you grow? Consider how you can focus on meeting your goals, using small and simple steps to form new habits in your life. Self-care is critical during times of crisis and chaos. It is also a healthy distraction.

 
Additional Coping Skills

• Seek solace in nature. Turn off the world for a bit (sorry, this includes your phone too!). Get moving. Connect to something larger than yourself. Absorb the rhythm of nature. Listen to the birds sing their songs. Let the refreshing breeze touch your soul. Find strength in knowing that in nature, all is still going as planned, per the natural order of the world. You don’t need to go far to experience this. Even your own backyard can suffice.

 

• Ask for help when you need it. Maintain your support system. Invest in your relationships. These are the people who will help get you through the tough times.

 

• Seek humor. Laughing is good for the soul and is therefore an excellent stress reliever. Spend time with those who make you laugh. Consume funny things regularly. Release the guilt for laughing when things are tough. This will help you persevere.

 

• Practice gratitude. There is always some light to be found, even during the darkest of times. Also be grateful for what you have. There are people who would quite literally die to be where you are right now. 

 

• Keep a journal. Process what is going on around you. Explore the meaning in your current life. Reflect. It is often during times of adversity that we realize what truly matters in our lives, as well as what is inconsequential.

 

• Engage in leisure activities. Get “in the zone”. Learn something new. Paint, read, write, take up a sport, do puzzles, bake, garden. Whatever it is, make time for creative release. This is critical.

 

• Nourish your body. You may be craving your comfort foods during tough times. In moderation, this is okay. Go easy on yourself. But also be sure to feed your body it needs to heal from all those stress hormones. Healthy food will sustain you.

 

• Sleep well. Perhaps the single most important thing to combat stress is sleep. Without it you simply cannot function optimally. In our culture we have a tendency to brag about how little sleep we get, how we are able to function on less sleep than the next person. This must stop. This path inevitably leads to burnout. Prioritize sleep and be unapologetic about it.

 
Final Words

Being fit is not just about exercising more and eating healthier. Nurturing a fit mind is just as important. Make time to check in with yourself mentally just as you would make time for your daily workout, or for meal prepping.
 
Also remember that nothing good lasts forever but nothing bad lasts forever either. Emotions come and go. There will be highs and lows. This will be the case until you take your very last breath. All you can do is the best you can do, here and now. Doing this can help you continue living an internal life of unprecedented peace, no matter what is happening around you. Stay focused. Stay grounded. Feel no shame in implementing your coping skills. Don’t apologize for making time to take care of yourself. Things are not always easy. Accept this, embrace this truth and just be.

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