Healthy changes: Where to start when you don't know where to start!

Knowing that I take pride in helping people make healthy lifestyle changes, a friend recently asked me a question that seemed simple enough at the time. But when I tried to answer it, it turned out to be a rather compelling question, with no simple one-word answer. In that moment I realized that I was at a loss for a quick, standard piece of advice that I could easily dispense to her.
 
This friend had recently embarked on her own healthy journey. She asked me, “Where exactly do you start when you’re trying to make a change? Where do you start when you don’t know where to start??”
 
The curse of knowledge sometimes prevents us from viewing life through other people’s lenses. Even though I have my own setbacks and I often struggle with motivation to make healthy choices, it’s been a long while since I’ve totally started anew. So naturally this question piqued my curiosity. I wanted to help with a quick answer but I also want my answer to be effective. I didn’t want it to be the standard advice that she’s already heard a million times, because clearly that wasn’t enough.
 
My friend already knows all the standard advice. She already knows to start small and easy, to eat “healthier” and to exercise “more”. She wants to know on the most basic level, where does one actually begin?

You begin with a thought
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny” –Lao Tzu
 
As with anything else we do in life, every action begins with a thought, an idea. If you’re asking me where can you begin when you want to make a change, it means that you already have this thought that something isn’t right. Your actions are not aligned with what you want and you are not content. If you didn’t think something had to change, you wouldn’t be asking.
 
So think about it. What is it that’s triggering your idea to change? What specifically are you trying to change? Why do you think you need to make this change? Chances are, you don’t need me to find these answers for you. You already have the answers within.
 
Find your dream
You’ve already identified that something needs to change. Something feels off. Now it’s time to ask the bigger questions. What will this change do for you? What value will this change bring to your life? What is the worst that will happen to you if you don’t make this change?
 
There’s an inner drive that’s pushing you out of your comfort zone and into this next phase. The comfort zone is just that, it’s comfortable. But for some reason you’re no longer comfortable in it. What is it that is driving you forward? Dig deep. And keep digging until you ultimately uncover your true motivation for change.
 
Narrow your focus
Okay…you told me that you spend your days lounging in front of your computer screen and you aren’t active enough. You told me that you binge eat when you’re bored, tired, stressed, lonely, sad. You’ve shared that you don’t sleep enough because you’re too busy falling down rabbit holes on the Internet at night. Oh, and you also drink way too much soda.
 
Okay…it’s time to pump the brakes here for a second!! You can only choose one thing to change for now! We are not going to completely transform your entire life in one day. We’ll get to all the rest in due course. The Domino Effect from making just one little change will take care of the rest in time. We’ll ride the wave of momentum later on down the road of our health journey. But for now, which one thing do you desire the most to change about your current trajectory?
 
Make a plan
Okay so let’s say for example that one thing that bothers you the most right now is that you aren’t active enough. But again we come back to our original question; how do you start? Should you sign up for one of those “Couch to 5K” programs? Join a hiking club on Meetup? Just lace up your old sneakers and literally hit the ground running? Well technically you could do these things. But if you’re asking where to start, my guess is you want to start with something manageable, something realistic. So now we need a plan. And we need to break things down.
 
Let’s break “getting more active” down a bit. We can say maybe you want to start going for regular walks again. Begin by getting yourself prepared. Find a nice pair of walking shoes. Figure out exactly where you will walk. Decide exactly when in your schedule you can make time for this (if something is important enough then you WILL make time for it). Don’t forget to plan for possible obstacles too. How will you get your steps in when it rains? What if it’s too hot?
 
Take a few minutes to also plan how you will make it enjoyable. A habit that isn’t rewarding or enjoyable is also not sustainable. Figure out ahead of time how you will make it fulfilling or fun (or both!). Depending on your new habit, you can add music to the mix, experiment with new recipes or recruit companionship to help make it enjoyable. You can also reward yourself each time you perform this new habit. Eventually, the act of performing it itself will be reward in itself!
 
Create an intention statement
Prepare yourself mentally by committing to the new change. Create an intention statement that is aligned with your goal. It can look something like this: “I will walk for 15 minutes 3 days per week in the mornings, rain or shine.” For added effect, you can also add the reason that this action is important to you: “I am doing this because I am a person that values my body and I want to be strong and energetic for myself and for my family.”
 
Creating an intention statement is basically making a promise to yourself. I know, I know…sometimes we make it too easy to break promises to ourselves. We haven’t stuck with our plans in the past and now we’re unsure of our own word. Sharing your intentions with others can help with this. It can help hold you accountable. But you also want to change your relationship with yourself. Show yourself that this time you WILL KEEP this promise to yourself. Things are different now. Because this time, your change is linked to your identity.

Commit to your new identity
You are not just going to start walking as part of a new health kick. From this day onward, you are a walker. You’re not just going to add some extra fruits and veggies to your plate. From this day on, you are a healthy eater. You are not just trying to quit smoking. Now, you are no longer a smoker. In each example, one statement is far more powerful than the other. See the difference? Decide what your change is going to be. Then start identifying with it.
 
Form the habit
It can take about two months for a new habit to really take hold. Be patient with yourself during this process. You may go back and forth for a while as the habit is forming. This is to be expected and it’s okay.
 
It took me a long time to finally become a true morning person. It took many failed attempts. It took many instances of sleeping in and missing my newly established, fragile routine before I started to really appreciate its worth. It also required a lot of reinforcement along the way. I needed to remind myself often of my motivation to wake up early. As the habit was gradually taking hold, I was reading a lot blogs about the benefits of waking up early. This helped me convince myself that I had to do this. Sure enough after a couple months, a new habit was born. And believe me when I say that if I can become a morning person then you can do anything!
 
So just keep at it. Be patient and don’t be too hard on yourself at first. But don’t go too easy on yourself either. Just focus on showing up every day. Consistency is what matters most when you’re just starting out. In fact, it matters far more than the results. The primary goal right now during this beginning phase is to form the habit. The rest will follow naturally.
 
Quick overview
1.) Start with a thought
2.) Identify your dream
3.) Narrow your focus
4.) Make a plan
5.) Create an intention statement
6.) Commit to your new identity
7.) Form the habit
 
Takeaway
Change isn’t easy. We are creatures of habits and routines. While it's true that we occasionally seek novelty, it's also true that we prefer to spend the majority of our time in the safety of our comfort zones. So where do we start when we want to change something that we are unhappy with? More specifically, where do we start when we want to make a healthy change?
 
We start slow with one small step and we start with a plan. When we make an intentional change and then truly commit to it, that new behavior will be incorporated into our daily lives. It will also be incorporated into who we are. Every new beginning starts with an idea. And you’ve already got that. Now just keep going…