Food as Comfort: The addiction that began before I could even walk

By Guest Blogger Gaby Lamprecht

If ever there was someone who knew the meaning of "comfort food" and paid the price for it, it's me.
 
I was born in Berlin, Germany.  We left Germany when I was 2, so this all happened before that age.  Apparently, whenever I cried in my crib, someone came running into my room, hands trembling, with a piece of chocolate that they stuffed into my mouth.  I guess it worked too, because this is a recurrent story that I was told. Even my grandmother was in on this, and she was the one with the trembling hand!  The child cried and someone ran in with chocolate.  Over and over again.  I was set up!!!  In Germany, we only had German or Swiss chocolate, so this was the best chocolate......rich and creamy and so very satisfying...

I also learned that it was a common thing to do in Germany at that time to leave your child in the crib and go out somewhere, like shopping or dining out!!  And......get this.....they would leave HARD CANDY within reach so that in case I woke up I could grab the candy and further soothe myself.  This was not child endangerment, or neglect. This was commonly done.  (My kids were teenagers before I let them have hard candy!!)
 
I didn't think much of these stories until decades later when I realized I had a lifelong and extremely devoted addiction to anything chocolate.  My favorite food in the whole world has always been chocolate.  I was literally part of a Pavlovian experiment here.  Give the child chocolate and the reward for the parents was peace and quiet and the child was happy.  I had the same response every time.  For the next 67 years!!  

This chocolate addiction evolved into other areas eventually...chocolate milk, bagels, chips, lots of candy and salty things. These were my comfort foods.  They got me through some hard times.  I know millions of people do the same thing for comfort.  Or they use alcohol, or cigarettes, or drugs.  For me, always chocolate! 
 
Even now, on my strictest diet, I have to incorporate some chocolate.  I have found that 9 Hershey's kisses are roughly 200 calories so they fit nicely into any program. I'd rather have Lindt chocolate, my favorite, but it's harder to count.  I don't know of any American chocolate that's anywhere near Swiss chocolate in quality but the kisses serve their purpose.  I just realized that I even have a cute Hershey kiss pendant that I sometimes wear to work!  Now that's an addict!!  A true believer.
 
(I also have several T-shirts with chocolate kisses on them.)

There was a price to pay for this addiction.  The way I was raised was that whenever something was broken, it was fixed.  Whenever there was any problem, it was resolved.  I guess this was the German way.  When things were NOT fixed or going my way, it caused me stress.  Whenever any life situation (school, kids, husband, the car, appliances, whatever it was) came up that couldn't be fixed quickly, that caused me stress.  The solution was chocolate!!   Lots of chocolate. Imagine what stress a pandemic causes!!  Boatloads of chocolate!
 
Because for a lot of people, this is like self-medication.  When I'm eating chocolate I don't worry about a thing.  It's like putting the world on hold.  It's like being anesthetized.  It's like a drug!
 
Of course with this kind of comfort there are consequences.  My highest weight ever was 345 pounds.  I couldn't go for long walks or do anything athletic, not that I've ever been athletic anyway.  I had a million cavities.  Those teeth didn't survive over the decades and are now implants, which cost a fortune.  I lost my gallbladder oddly enough not from being 345 pounds but during a diet where I lost a lot of that weight.  This is common with gallbladders.  If you lose too quickly this happens.  
 
I had clothes literally from every single size.  From size 8 or so up to 22-24.  Several times over the years I have filled up huge trash bags full of these clothes and donated them.  Many were brand new but no longer fit.  
 
The largest price I paid, besides my gallbladder, was all the plastic surgery I had to have because of loose skin.  Briefly, I had 2 facelifts, a tummy tuck, a breast lift, a lift that went 360 degrees around my waist, and thigh lifts.  Oh, and both arms.  Also liposuction.  Skin was hanging everywhere.  Not to mention the dental work.  Don't even want to think about that.
 
So that one piece of chocolate, late at night, led to all this.  I don't blame my parents. They couldn't have known that one piece of chocolate would turn into such a love story or that I would get so emotionally attached to this.  Both my parents were thin.  I don't know what happened.  I guess I was just an anxious child, an only child (no siblings around to help me) and this was my way of coping with a scary world.  Who knows?