6 Super Easy Ways to Keep Your Promises to Yourself

“I’m going to start running”.
“I’m going to start eating healthier”.
“I’m going to lose 20 pounds”.
“I’m going to quit sugar”.
“I’m going to stop ordering takeout”.
 
(1 month later, hanging head down in shame)…ummm…never mind….
 
Sound familiar? Why do we do this? We mean well. We really do have good intentions for ourselves. We want to do all of these things (well, sorta). We even kind of already know what to do. Then why do our healthy plans rarely come to fruition? Why do things keep playing out the same old way?
 
Let me start by asking you a couple of pretty important questions here. When you promise a friend, a co-worker, or your boss that you are going to do something, how obligated do you feel to keep your promise? When you don’t follow through with them, how does this make you feel?
 
Now ask yourself the same questions but this time about the promises you make to yourself and don’t keep. More than likely, you can handle your broken promises to yourself pretty well. By now you’re used to it, right? Why is it that it is so difficult to brush off the promises that we make to others but the same isn’t true of ourselves?
 
There’s actually a pretty good reason we are more likely to keep promises to others than to ourselves. Like it or not, we naturally care deeply about what others think of us. Seeking acceptance and approval from others is an evolutionary survival strategy. Throughout our history we’ve depended on other people liking us so they could help us survive when times were tough. It was a matter of life and death.
 
Actually we are still wired this way. It makes sense, right? For this reason, you may be great at following through with others. You’re a man/woman of your word. To yourself, not as much. You tell yourself that you are going to do X, Y, Z, only to end up doing A, B, C.  But at least there’s no one around to be disappointed in you, right? Not necessarily…
 
The problem is, you are decreasing the confidence that you have in yourself every time you make a promise to yourself that you don’t keep. To the world you may appear reliable and have a reputation for always following through. But by not keeping your own promises, you are damaging your inner reputation. You are demonstrating to yourself that you are incapable of sticking with something. You might even be demonstrating to yourself subconsciously that you are not really worthy of attaining a particular outcome for yourself. And this can affect other aspects of your life as well. So why do we do this?
 
Common Reasons

• You are unclear about WHY exactly you are trying to achieve something. If it’s only to please someone else, you may not be totally convinced about having to make the change. Hence, the lack of any real action on your part.

 

• You are unclear about WHAT exactly you need to do. Notice that all the goals listed above were pretty vague. How would achieving them look, from day to day? You don’t really know, so it’s hard to really start.

 

• You are procrastinating. Logically you know this change needs to happen. Just not today.

 

• You feel overwhelmed. Let’s face it. Life is pretty stressful even without the prospect of having to change something about our routines or ourselves. You want to change but when life happens it just all becomes too much.

 

• You’ve already lost confidence from past broken promises. You already know you won’t keep this one either. So why even try? This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

• You don’t like to ask for help. And going at it alone can be quite the struggle. So, you’d rather not ask and just maintain the status quo.

 

• You are inconsistent. Sometimes you work towards your goal, sometimes you don’t. It depends on your emotions and on your mood on a given day.

 

• You aren’t being mindful enough. Life just sort of happens when you are busy. You don’t even notice where your time goes or how you are spending it. Before you know it, another day has slipped by, and you are still not on track with your goals. 

 Keeping your Word
The good news is, you can learn how to be better at following through with promises you make to yourself.
 
1.) Start with a fresh mindset. Forget the broken promises from the past. Tell yourself this time will be different because now you have new knowledge. 

2.) Make sure you are changing for the right reason(s). Are you doing this for yourself or for someone else? Do you really want this? Are you fully convinced that this change will improve your life? How so? 

3.) Create a sense of urgency. Raise the stakes. Ask yourself, why does this change have to happen today, now? What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t make this change? Lifestyle diseases creep up on us slowly. But when they strike, they can be absolutely crippling. 

4.) Start with only ONE SMALL change at a time. Our brains don’t like to change too much too soon. One mistake many people make is trying to change too much at once, only to quickly slip back into their comfort zones. START LOW AND GO SLOW. Build and grow from there.

5.) Be consistent, no matter your mood. Even if you only make a teeny bit of progress towards your goal each day, that counts. In the beginning, when you are building a new habit, the key is to just show up each day, no matter how small the effort. 

6.) Ask for support. The truth is, most people like to help out a friend or loved one. It gives them a sense of fulfillment. It makes them feel needed and relevant in your life. So don’t be afraid to ask. Find an accountability partner to check in with. Make a promise to yourself AND to this person. Be clear and specific with them about how exactly you want them to support you. They will help you stay on track and greatly increase your chances of success. 
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Most importantly of all, focus on just one day at a time. Ditch the lofty goals. Maybe you’ll just start by waking up a little earlier each day to walk down the block and back three days per week. Maybe you’ll focus on just eating healthier snacks for the upcoming week. Stop focusing on the end results or the outcome. Take pride in your little steps each day. This is not a competition and your only real goal is just to do a tad bit better than you did yesterday. Just by doing something.
 
Then suddenly, one day, you are going to wake up and discover that somehow, you are that runner, who is eating healthier, is 20 pounds lighter, who stopped eating sugar somewhere along the way and who now enjoys cooking at home. You became a new person because this time, you kept your promise to yourself. 

Need a bit more accountability for yourself? 
Reserve your copy of our Healthy Habits Workbooks today!