11 powerful ways to motivate others to join you on your quest for better health

        “When you motivate others to be healthy, you can’t help being motivated too” 
                                                      - Denise Austin
 
It’s been said that we are the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most amount of time. Essentially what this means is that those closest to us can have a powerful effect on our decisions and behaviors. With this in mind, it would be ideal if the people around us were on the same track as us on our wellness journeys. But as you probably already know, this is not always the case.
 
Imagine the following: Let’s say you’ve sworn off junk food for a while. You’re well on your way towards losing those final stubborn 15 pounds. Now consider how hard it would be to sit down with a friend that’s chowing down on a slice of a deliciously warm 5-topping pizza. Would you find it difficult to resist a plate of fresh homemade chocolate cookies that your loved one just baked for the two of you? Or how about sitting next to a spouse that’s indulging in your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate peanut butter cookie dough flavored ice cream?
 
If you’re anything like me, the temptation can often be too much to resist, regardless of how committed you may be to your health goals. But how much easier is it to stay on track when those around you share your common goals?
 
In addition to our attempts to eliminate the temptation they expose us to, we also just want what’s best for our loved ones. We want similar things for them that we want for ourselves. When we experience vibrancy and happiness we want the same for them. When we become healthier and more energetic we begin to feel better about ourselves. We found something that makes us feel better and we want to shout it from the rooftops. Unfortunately our messages don’t always land on the ears of recipients who are ready or willing to listen. Our intentions are good but our audience isn’t interested. We want to help but we don’t even know where to start. So what do we do?
 
You can bring a horse to the water…
Each person is on their own unique journey and on their very own timeline. A person has to be in the right stage of change in order to be willing to proceed. If a person isn’t ready to change, then they cannot (and should not) be forced. But what about someone who has already expressed interest that they want to follow in your footsteps? What can you do to help them succeed?
 
Most of my blog posts focus on motivating my readers to make healthy changes. But lately I’ve noticed that it’s not always my readers who need the motivating.  Sometimes it’s someone in my readers’ lives that wants to make a healthy change. As many of us know though, motivating someone else is a far cry from motivating yourself. But the good news is, you don’t have to go out and become a certified personal trainer or a health coach to help motivate others to make positive changes. So allow me to share with you some of the most effective tools in my coaching toolbox.
 
11 easy ways to help inspire someone to join you on your wellness journey:

• Focus on yourself first

“Place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others”. How many times have we heard these familiar instructions? This advice is applicable to more than just the oxygen masks on airplanes. Flight attendants are actually dispensing very practical life advice here. The truth of these words extends way beyond the confines of the cabin.  You absolutely must help yourself before you are truly able to help anyone else.  One of the best ways to convince others to join you on your health journey is to lead by example. Demonstrate that your healthy actions can lead to powerful results.

• Be genuine

In order for people to follow you, they must first trust you. Establish trust by practicing what you preach and by being the real deal. Talk the talk and walk the walk. Help people for the right reasons. Help them because you care about them. Don’t help them in order to change them because you feel they aren’t good enough as they are. Help them because they are good enough. They are worth it. 

• Be patient and listen

To really help inspire someone, you have to understand where he or she is coming from. What are their thoughts or concerns? Why do they want to make this change? What support do they need from you? What motivates them? Learning these basics about someone will make you all the better at supporting them.

• Don’t expect perfection

People are easily overwhelmed by high expectations. Not only is perfectionism ineffective and unsustainable, it’s also unrealistic. People have lapses and setbacks often, especially in the beginning stage of making a change. So resist the urge to preach and judge. We are all only human. Instead, celebrate the small wins and whatever accomplishments they’ve made thus far.

• Help them make change easy

Help them to individualize their plan for ultimate success. You can talk to them about what currently is and isn’t working in their lives. Help them align who they want to be with the actions that will help get them there. The key is to try to make the ride as smooth as possible. Remove temptations and make the new change seem easy and fun.

• Be an accountability partner

Be honest and offer helpful feedback. Then ask them to return this favor to you. Look at this as sort of a partnership and not necessarily a one-way street. You both want what’s best for the other. And you are both committed to helping each other achieve your health goals. Set dates for working out together…and stick with them. Make agreements that in each other’s presence, you will never tempt the other with junk food. Call or message each other in the early mornings at an agreed upon time to begin your new early morning routines. Whatever this looks like, hold each other accountable. But be sure to do it in an uplifting, supportive way (never critical or judgmental!).

• Help them realize their potential

Helping someone realize their potential can be done by helping them explore their previous mastery experiences (times they were successful in the past). Offer genuine praise and supportive evidence of their self-mastery. Encourage them to do the same for themselves. When did they try something similar in the past and succeed? When have they overcome adversity? When have they demonstrated their resilience and perseverance in the past? This helps them build confidence and shows them they are fully capable of making this change.

• Help them rediscover their “North Star”

When motivation starts to run low (which it inevitably always does at some point), it’s time to revisit their WHY. Encourage them to make a vision board. Ask them to list all the reasons they want to make this healthy change. Help them develop a vision of their future selves achieving this goal and help them imagine what success would look like.

• Set SMART goals with them

For a goal to be effective, it should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound (SMART). Essentially a SMART goal is a blueprint. It helps develop an action plan that leads to a desired destination. The more specific the better. Just be sure that goals are broken down into small achievable pieces. This helps boost confidence and it also builds some powerful momentum early on.

• Foresee barriers and make a plan

It could take 6+ months for a new behavior to be fully integrated into one’s daily life. Along the way (and even after a new habit has been established), there will be barriers and obstacles. It’s not a matter of if but when and what types of barriers will arise. The trick is to anticipate these challenges early on. Then, make a plan to overcome them ahead of time. Encourage your friend/loved one to brainstorm possible scenarios and then help them try to work out solutions.

• Think of rewards

It’s fine to express support to someone for achieving their health goals. But try to avoid saying things like “I’m proud of you” too often. A key component of sustaining behavior change is intrinsic motivation. We want people to engage in healthy behaviors because they themselves feel the positive effects. Instead, help them develop ways to reward behavior change by giving themselves small rewards (i.e. an afternoon of shopping after completing an entire week of early morning workouts). In the beginning, we mostly rely on extrinsic rewards to change behavior. Over time, our intrinsic reward systems kick in, leading to less reliance on external forces to motivate us.
 
Each one…
One of the reasons I became a health coach was because I wanted to help as many people as possible to live healthier lives.  As I’ve shared in previous posts, I often feel disenchanted as a nurse. I see so much preventable suffering caused by poor lifestyle choices. I want to help as many people as possible to get healthier. But the work is too much for one person.
 
When I taught English as a volunteer many years back, a phrase stuck with me: “Each one, teach one”. While it applied to learning how to read, I’ve since found it applicable to coaching as well. Imagine the kind of impact we can have if each one of us inspires another to lead a healthier life!
 
Do you have any experience encouraging others to get healthy with you? What advice would you offer? Please do leave a comment below and share with us!